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colin
if i was fired i'd be a hobo lookin for a ham sandwhich
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PostSubject: quotes   Sat Sep 25, 2010 7:56 pm

Lyndon B. Johnson
Did you ever think that making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg? It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.
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colin
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PostSubject: Re: quotes   Sat Sep 25, 2010 7:58 pm

Rita Rudner
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

Cyndi Lauper
People used to complain to me all the time, 'I can't even hear you sing because your clothes are so loud.'

Charles Lamb
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

Sean Williamson
Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing.

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colin
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PostSubject: Re: quotes   Sat Sep 25, 2010 8:01 pm

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

ā€œI know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.ā€ Robert McCloskey
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colin
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PostSubject: Re: quotes   Sat Sep 25, 2010 8:05 pm

ā€œI just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."ā€

unknown
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PostSubject: Re: quotes   Sat Sep 25, 2010 8:12 pm

"Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought; Where the hell is my ceiling?!"

-unknown

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colin
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PostSubject: Re: quotes   Sat Sep 25, 2010 8:26 pm

I don't advise a hair cut man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hair are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bold-headed men are uptight.

- Bruce Robinson, "Withnail And I"
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colin
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PostSubject: Re: quotes   Sat Sep 25, 2010 8:30 pm

If you're ever in doubt, throw a pepper in the air. If it fails to come down, you have gone mad, so don't trust in anything.

- Gregory Maguire, "Mirror Mirror


Yesterday I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I don't know.

- Groucho Marx


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